What is Chandler's Job?
by NightNightDragon
Summary: If Joey, Chandler's best friend, can't tell what Chandler's job is, then how is that even remotely a fair question? Takes place directly after Monica and Rachel lose the apartment to the boys. One-shot


**So this takes place directly after Monica and Rachel lose their bet and the boys get their apartment. One thing always bothered me about it, however; Ross asks the girls what Chandler's job it, but not even Joey knows the answer to that. I doubt Ross did either, he was just going to ask Chandler himself if it was right or not.**

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><p>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Monica cried as the realization that they were going to lose their apartment settled in.<p>

"Yes, yeah! Yes!" the boys shouted, jumping up and down with glee.

Rachel was stunned. They…lost. But…hold up, that last question wasn't fair. "WAIT!" she shouted, getting everyone to calm down. "Hold up for just one second." With a perplexed look on her face, she turned to Ross and said, "Ross, these questions you asked us, Chandler and Joey have to know the answers, right? Because, it's questions about them."

"Well, of course we know the answers," Joey said.

"So, is it a rule that you _must _know the answers?" Rachel asked.

"Ummm," Ross mumbled, not really sure.

"Why does it matter, we know the answers anyway," Chandler said.

"Really," Rachel stated, a smile threatening to form on her lips, "So, if we asked you a question, and you got it wrong, would you admit that the question was unfair, and we get to keep the apartment?"

"I guess…" Joey started, but Chandler cut him off.

"No! We won this apartment fair and square!" he shouted.

"Alright, let me put in some incentive. We lose, and Monica and I kiss each of you," Rachel told them.

"What, Rachel…" Rachel held up her hand and gave Monica a look that told her that she knew what she was doing.

"This is what I'm offering: we ask one of you to answer a question about you guys, and if you get it right, Monica and I kiss you both. If you get it wrong, we keep our apartment," Rachel offered.

"I don't know…" Chandler started, so Rachel added more.

"Monica and I will also make out in front of you two."

"Deal!" Joey shouted.

"Wait, wait," Chandler stopped him. He looked at Rachel and said, "Just in case we lose, we still want something. Because, you know, the apartment is really big. So, if we lose, you still kiss us and make out."

"How 'bout you get one kiss from _one _of us," Monica suggested. She wasn't too thrilled on the idea of kissing either of them, but she trusted Rachel and she really wanted the apartment back.

"Fine, we have a deal," Chandler conceded.

"Good!" Rachel said, smiling. "Now, like I said, I'm going to ask only one of you a question, and that one person must answer. And, to make sure it doesn't last forever, you'll get a minute to answer."

"Doesn't matter, I know everything about Chandler," Joey said confidently.

"And I know everything about Joey," Chandler agreed, ready to get to kiss two beautiful women then watch them kiss each other.

"Okay…" Rachel began, smiling.

"Wait!" Monica cut in. She turned to her friend and said, "Are you sure about this? I mean, I can live without the apartment, even live with making out with you, but kissing the boys?"

"I take offense to that," Chandler randomly said.

Rachel rolled her eyes at him before saying to Monica, "It's okay, I've got this. Just trust me."

"Well…okay then," Monica agreed, looking uneasy.

"Okay," Rachel nodded, turning to the boys. "Remember! Just one question. Get it wrong, we get the apartment. Get it right, you guys get, well, a lot."

"We're ready," Joey said, taking a deep breath.

"Okay then," Rachel replied, a bit of warning edged at her tone. "Joey…"

"Yes!"

"What…is Chandler's job?" she asked, looking at her watch to count down the seconds.

Joey opened his mouth, but then closed it again, panic and confusion settling on his face. "Hey, that's not fair!" he cried.

"Wha, well, Ross asked us this question, and you _said _knew all the answers," Rachel defended, a huge grin now spreading on her face.

"Well I know the answer!" Chandler cried out.

"Yes, but you're not allowed to. You agreed to this, remember," Rachel reminded them. "Besides, if your best friend can't even answer this question, then it obviously wasn't even a fair question in the first place."

"No, no, no!" Chandler cried out in despair, turning to Joey. "Come on man, you can do this! I really want this apartment!"

"Yeah, and I really want to see them kiss!" Joey added, now frantically trying to think of Chandler's job. "Okay, it has something to do with numbers. And…numbers. And…transferring stuff?"

"Ten seconds," Rachel announced, smile growing larger and larger. Monica was also grinning from ear to ear.

"He's a…trans-bon-deg-er…person!" Joey cried as Rachel dropped her arm to her side.

"That's exactly what _I _said," she told him.

"Well, I didn't know what to say!" Joey complained.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chandler cried epically, throwing his hands up into the air.

"YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!" Rachel and Monica shouted as the realization sunk in.

Ross stood, forgotten, off to the side, not sure what to make of the events that just unfolded.

Red in the face, Chandler turned to Joey and said, "Transbondeger person? That's not even a real word!"

"I'm sorry man, but I really don't know what you do!" Joey replied. "Aw, man now we don't get a kiss from them _or _see them make out!"

"Hey, think of it this way," Monica said, wide smile still planted on her face, "You ended the way you started. Both of us did. We gained nothing and lost nothing."

"Well, _we _still get _something," _Chandler reminded him, suddenly very happy he altered the deal so they still got something if they lost.

"Oh, right," Rachel remembered, "Damn."

"You don't have to sound so excited," Joey muttered, slightly offended.

"Okay, but you only get to kiss one of us, so you guys decide who's kissing who," Monica told them.

"Dibs!" Joey called.

"On…" Chandler prompted.

"Oh, ummm, your kiss?"

"Then I get dibs on yours!" Chandler shot back.

"Okay, fine," Joey conceded before turning to stare at the girls. "Hmmm…"

"I'd just like to put in, that I'd rather _not _see Joey kiss my sister," Ross mentioned.

"So you'd rather have her kiss me than Joey?" Chandler asked.

"No, I'd rather not have her kiss either of you. But, Chandler, I've known you longer and Joey…no offense man, but I feel like you've kissed too many women," Ross explained.

Joey glared at him for a moment before nodding and saying, "Yeah, I see your point."

"Okay, any day now boys," Rachel cut in, "Unless you'd rather not get a kiss…"

"No!" Joey cried, "I'll kiss you right now!"

"But that leaves me with Chandler!" Monica complained.

"Could you be at least a _little _more sensitive?" Chandler said sarcastically.

"Oh, alright, enough of this!" Rachel interrupted. She marched up to Joey and quickly pecked him on the lips. "Your turn!" she said to Monica, walking away.

Monica sighed and walked up to Chandler, also giving him a quick little peck before turning away.

"What? That's it?" Chandler complained. "I think we agreed on a little more than that!"

Annoyed and irritated, Monica whirled around and gave him a fat kiss on the mouth. "Happy now?" she grunted before turning away. "Your turn!" she announced to Rachel who reluctantly went to give Joey a bit bigger kiss.

"Now that's more I like it!" he cheered.

Ross stumbled next to Chandler and said, "Please don't ever do that again, at least not in front of me," before leaving.

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><p><strong>Okay, so I know Chandler is still with Kathy here, but I just couldn't resist putting in a little Mondler. Besides, my view is that Chandler would never agree to this bet unless he knew he would get at least something out of it. He already had the apartment, now he just had a chance to get a little more, an almost guaranteed chance since he and Joey know basically everything about each other (they act like an old married couple, seriously). <strong>

**Anyway, I always found the whole 'Chandler's job' thing unfair if Joey couldn't answer it himself. So, this came into my head!**


End file.
